Apple have consistently rubbished the rumoured iBeardTouch, the combined phone, music player, web browser and beard maintenance wonder-gadget. “It simply does not exist – the whole idea is pure fantasy,” barked Dave Satsuma, Chief of Male Grooming Technology at Apple. However, the following image, leaked to undercover barbers in the Los Angeles underground, suggests the incredible device may actually exist!

“Picture the scene: you’re on the train, listening to Slade, chatting on the phone to your mistress, whilst trimming your precious face blanket – genius!” enthused Alan Key, barber to the stars. “This will make the lawnmower redundant!”


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