If you have a penchant for baggy trousers and elaborate dance moves, you’re pretty much guaranteed to enjoy DanceJam, MC Hammer’s new website, which is due to leave beta later this month. The site aims to become the definitive resource for watching and sharing dance videos; clearly, there is such a gaping, abyss-like gap in the market that they are sure to reap fortunes beyond their wildest hip-hop dreams.

“There is no high-tech lingo or business strategy that you can talk that is above my head,” boasted Hammer, during a recent interview. Now there’s a challenge…

The staff of The Onion’s A.V. Club encounter several thousand band names a year, whether by receiving albums, press releases or gig listings. Just as it is inevitable that an infinite number of monkeys will pen the works of Shakespeare, you can pretty much guarantee that of these thousands of names, some will be laugh-out-loud absurd.

You can see the full list here, but the best of the bunch must be:

• The Asbestos Tampons
• Dyslexic Speedreaders
• Baboon Torture Division
• Gay Witch Abortion
• Statutory Grape

Introduce your children to the realities of inner-city life with the excellent Urban Collectables collection.

Available to buy from chinnychinchin.

Ché Magazine has added to its controversial series of ads with this beauty (in terms of concept and booty pertness).

Comingsoon.net reports that Knight Rider is returning to our TV screens in the not-too-distant future. No news yet on whether David Hasselhoff will be involved, but surely they’ll see sense and get him to slip on his leather trousers once again.

If you’re short of something to do this evening, why not print out this menu and head to your local Weatherspoon?

Tim’s reconfigured barnet makes him move at great speeds. This, combined this with his enhanced hunter-gatherer instincts, makes him extremely difficult to photograph. This is the best picture I’ve managed…. so far!

Gadgets: ever diminishing, ever evolving. Phones have gone from being 10kg beasts as used by Colonel Decker in the A-Team to waif-like slivers of metal and plastic that are invisible to the naked eye (well…. give it time).

This technological shrinkage is appealing to most people, but American Thomas Martel, frustrated by his oversized thumbs, has resorted to radical surgery to enable him to use his iPhone more effectively. The procedure involved shaving down the bones of each thumb, combined with muscular alteration and fingernail modification. Mr. Martel now has tiny, effeminate thumbs compared to his gorilla hands, but hey, he can write text messages a little quicker!

“We’re turning plastic surgery from something that people use in service of vanity, to a real tool for improving workplace efficiency” reasons Dr. Robert Fox Spars, renowned Frankenstein surgeon and all-round mad man.
Read more at Denver News.

This is a random thumb from Flickr, not Martel’s!

Who am I to ignore valuable life skills delivered by a friendly tiger family?