Behold, the Hello Kitty chainsaw. Like an iron-on Simon Weston transfer, it defies logic, but therein lies its beauty.

My stellar rendition of Papa Was A Rolling Stone at Bearpit karaoke is 100% certain to earn me a record contract. If anyone is out there, hey, I’m all ears (subject to a minimum advance of £1,000,000 and a 10-person entourage).

Frankie Boyle’s website is an experience that everyone over the 18 should indulge in.

Mice – they’re filth! We’ve had problems with the little buggers in the office lately, but we managed to catch one in the bin. This little chap may seem cute, but little does he realise that his death is imminent. Feel free to send in your suggestions as to what we should do with him. Drowning? Squashing? We could set him on fire? Sell him to gypsies? Put him in the microwave? Oh, so many options!

Stu Alex likes chicken, but not just any chicken. His obsessive love for Hühnerhaus’ wares has driven him to record this hugely entertaining video.

This photo is predictable, crass, infantile, and, well, just downright silly. Regardless, it’s very sweet!

Ali Beheshti may be labelled an extremist by some, but he’s working such a good look that you can’t help but respect him. Note how Ali’s beanie hat and cloak perfectly match his handgun and steely-grey eyes: it’s no coincidence.

My Slovenian brothers over at myBikini sell some jolly nice pubic beard shaving templates. The ideal gift for ‘er indoors, surely, unless she’s morbidly obese or Goodhew.

Whilst tidying my desk, I chanced upon the despatch note from my last lightbulb order from BLT Direct. Now, don’t get me wrong, they’re jolly nice people, and they always have the annoying, can’t-buy-them-anywhere bulbs that our office is littered with. However, they failed to comply with my ESSENTIAL delivery instructions (see scan for details). Honestly, is a little choreographed dance routine really too much to ask?

The Handlebar Club is for gentleman who boast “a hirsute appendage of the upper lip, with graspable extremities”. Delicious!

The original, pre-1990s Action Man is a top bloke, but he keeps some dubious company after hours.

John Ivers loves roller coasters. So much so that he built one in his back garden. Judging by the video, it looks like his whole family will die of broken necks, but until they do it looks like great fun!

Alicia Traveria’s Tom Selleck birthday cake is a masterpiece! Who wouldn’t want a delicious slice of Big Tom on their birthday?

In 1992, James May (aka Captain Slow) was fired from Autocar magazine for creating a hidden message in their end of year “Road Test Year Book”. Try reading the red letters in the above image (click it to enlarge), or head over to the wikipedia article about James May.

eBay is filled with plenty of wonderful items but possibly even more rubbish. Take this Nike shaped carrot for example:

It’s currently at $350 with no bids. If you fancy adding it to your collection of vegetables that resemble well-known logos, click here to put in a bid.

Everyone has owned an Etch A Sketch at some point. If, like me, you managed to draw little more than a misshapen stick man, you’re sure to be impressed by the handiwork of “artists” etchasketchist and Etcha.

Muqtada Al-Sadr

Neil Diamond (yeah right….)

Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco

Elephant with an afro